Quotes for my heart

More goodies from the Super Soul Sunday interview with Elizabeth Gilbert:

"any voice you have that attacks you in any way is not your highest self" <<-- can I possibly love this too much??

"you will know grace when you hear it, because grace says "i don't care what you do, you're splendid and magnificent, and i'm here and i'm right beside you, and we're going to get through this" that's the only thing grace ever says." <-- God whispers, he doesn't shout.

"grace just says 'love, come, embrace, safe, us, peace'..." Yes!!

"grace" - what to call god. So good! God is grace in your life -- true grace is God smiling.

"god is whatever lifts your face out of the dirt." I want this as a t-shirt!

"anything that lifts that, and ascends you, and gently comes and just says rise, rise, rise - that's grace calling." -- absolutely, rise up!

Mommy's in charge

Whoa. This was a whoa moment for me hearing Elizabeth Gilbert talk on Super Soul Sunday about overcoming her fears:

"...the real battle for me was my own self abuse 

was to learn how to stop, how to drop the knife that i was holding to my own throat.

i was never good enough.

i couldn't let go of my failures

i couldn't let go of my shame

i couldn't let go of anything wrong i had ever done.

i had an inventory that was so long

i was in four months of meditation cave, no distraction, no friends, nothing but me and "it".

and the it was the anger, the sadness, the sorrow, the shame, the pain - and we were in there.

my head is a neighborhood you don't want to walk around in alone at night. it's not nice in there.

victory - all my demons, my monsters that i had been carrying around forever - the light came through and i realized, they're not demons, they're not monsters, they're not dragons - I've been making them more grandiose than they are. they're just the orphaned parts of me. they're just the feafulest, most young, terrified parts of me - they are scared to death and they are throwing temper tantrums because of their fear, and now i have to tell them that it's going to be okay and they will all go to sleep. i am the mother of all of these parts of me. 

i remember just sort ascending above them all and telling them "i love you fear, and now you go to sleep. i love you anger, you're part of me, go to sleep now, it's fine - i'm in charge now. i love you shame, even you - come into my heart, go to sleep, you're safe. i love you - i'm not leaving you. i can't you're part of me - your part of the family. you're never going to be away from me. i love you failure, come into my heart, rest. you're so tired, you're so scared, you're just children, you don't know how the world works. i love all of you, i have space for all of you, and together we're just going to go forward now. but mommy's driving now."

and mommy is the part of me that can embrace everything that i am. peace."

Stunning.

Mommy's in charge -- a whole knew way for me to talk to my inner gremlins.

Quote

"I am not what just happened to me, but I might be what I do next."

- Glennon Doyle Melton

I love this quote -- it is so hard to live it and to remember to not take life events too personally when they happen.  I am not "my mother died and I felt abandoned while pregnant" even though that is how it felt and sometimes still feels.  I am however "woman who survived the crushing death of her mother while pregnant and powered through".

Each day brings growth and healing, even if closure never occurs. I don't need closure. I need to keep moving forward, while also honoring the struggle.

Ooops!!

Guess this blog will be far from a 365 at this rate. I have taken a ton a pictures, but my project fell apart last year. OOPS!!!

It will just be a place where I put periodic pics, memories, gratitude, various quotes I have come across and anything else that falls under the umbrella of things I want to remember.

Day 31/366

Communion dress shopping today - a day that I have waited for since the day they told me in the ultrasound room that I was having a little girl. Can't believe that it is here already - it is going too fast!!

She tried on several, but this one was by far my favorite - she stepped out of the dressing room with it on, and I had to catch my breath. She looks stunning in it, and I can imagine her walking down the aisle with her veil and gloves on to receive the Eucharist. I pray it will be a beautiful, special day for her that she will always remember.

Day 30/366

This little thing came to me as a gift after Nate was born, but has been tucked away in a box for quite a while. I found it while I was looking through things, and it reminds me now of my mom. She is our angel, and I feel her with us always.

Day 29/366

I have had this plant since 2003.  Jim gave it to me when I had started what turned out to be a very, very crappy job.  Somehow it has survived over the years, even with as much as I ignore it survives. There are now two additional plants that started as cuttings from the first one, and the first one has a vine that is about 6 ft long.  These plants now all sit on a table, close to the window, and under the living room light - it is my little green space in the house.

Day 28/366

What happens when I tell them they need to take a break from electronics for a while... I need to do it more often!!

Day 27/366

Bedtime pic again -- I swear I only pick up my camera at the end of the day.

Day 26/366

When the cat's away.... Actually it is when the brother leaves for school and she goes into his room to watches him from the window while he waits at the bus stop.  Sweet as can be!

With her hair down in the morning -- such a little beauty!  I love her hair!

We had our Brownie meeting that night -- this group of girls just keeps growing!  When they are all together, there are 29 of them -- and boy do they keep us hopping.  On this day we said goodbye to Lilly - she was one of our first scouts and her family is moving to California.  We had a little going away party for her, and I had a few tears sending her off. She the little girl that didn't speak a word for the first year, and finally started to open up this year -- I am going to miss that girl!

Even though meetings wear me out, I wouldn't trade it for anything! These girls rock!!

Day 25/366

My handsome, brown eyed boy -- and the look I get when I say, "hey buddy, can I get a picture?"